Why wouldn’t we expect
Thunder and lightening
When someone like this
Has been taken from us?
Why wouldn’t we expect
A downpour of rain
As the heavens give credibility
To our own tears?
Why wouldn’t we expect
That the universal energy
Has been forever shifted
By the vacuum that has been created?
And why wouldn’t we expect
The blue sky and sun to return
When a smile has been lifted up
To now shine down on the whole world?
Filed under Journal Arts, Soul to Soul Blog, They Live On, Uncategorized
“Precious moments. Wonderful moments,” she sings out to us in a sweet, clear voice as we lie on our mats during cool down.
I’ve always thought of it as a generic construct, encouraging her yoga students to stay present as she quietly walks around covering us with blankets. But tonight, it feels different. Tonight it signifies for me, and I sense for others as well, how precious time is with this 81-year-old yogi. Due to her ethereal nature, I’ve never sensed her mortality before: There will always be Mana, just like there has always been Mana.
Although it’s true that Mana will always be in my soul because she’s taught me so much, I still have much more to learn from this wise woman. Moments with her do indeed feel precious now.
I’ve been paying class-by-class, never sure if I can make it from one week to the next. Tonight I pay for eight classes, both to signify my commitment to the practice and as a way to obligate Mana to stay on this plane for me, as crazy as that may seem.
I will not take for granted precious moments spent with this precious woman.
– Journal entry, March 2013
Filed under Journal Arts, Soul to Soul Blog, They Live On
The recent loss of a dear friend – an elderly woman who I believed immortal – brings back the same feeling I had when my mother died…that it’s all a terrible mistake. I keep waiting for a call or a text from my friend…even though the memorial is this weekend.
Denial is the first stage of loss. It works for awhile…
********
She can’t be dead. It’s not possible. I keep expecting her to show up, to put an end to all this nonsense about her being dead.
I keep thinking we’ll have another chance, that it’ll be like before. That I should save those clothes because she’ll need them when she returns.
It’s all just a terrible mistake. Come back, Mama. We’ll get everything all straightened out.
She can’t be dead. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Filed under Journal Arts, Soul to Soul Blog, They Live On
Cry into the darkness.
Feel your pain as you gaze into the night sky.
Beg the moon and the stars for mercy.
Feel small and inconsequential.
Face your dark night, recognizing that this is where you are to be right now.
Feel the full impact of hope and disappointment.
And wonder if they are mutually exclusive.
Cry, mourn.
Remember the stages of loss.
Remember the stages of life.
Excerpt from They Live On: Saying Goodbye to Mom and Dad © 2010
Filed under Journal Arts, Soul to Soul Blog, They Live On
She is not holy.
She laughs.
She is not holy.
She swears.
She is not holy.
She makes mistakes.
She is not holy.
She doubts.
She is not holy.
She worries.
She is not holy.
She is sensual.
Such contradictions exist in us all. Yet, I feel her grace when I am in her presence. She emanates goodness and great compassion for all those around her, extending even to inanimate objects. While she struggles with her own humanity, she openly embraces ours.
She is human – and oh, so very holy.
*********
In memory of Mana Behan, my friend and yoga instructor, with deep reverence.
Filed under Journal Arts, Soul to Soul Blog, They Live On
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